All Hearts Must Fade
All Hearts Must Fade (Revised)Everything is bound to God's design.He fashioned all to fade away to dust,for will not every golden leaf fall deadto Autumn's amber floor? And will not gleamingstars...
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There is NO way I could have remained awake at four o'clock in the morning reading Paradise Lost. I'd have been out at 9:30 had I begun reading it at 9:20. Congratulations--not only on your...
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Yeah-- Milton's tough, but it's interesting, too. I have to reread every page at least twice to try to salvage at least three quarters of the meaning-- the other quarter is usually lost to me...
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Ah, Sam, you are becoming a POET. Where were you when I was 16 and the small-town nerds were leering, "So you write poetry! I LOVE 'Casey at the Bat'!"I love "will not every golden leaf fall deadto...
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Thank you, Margaret! Changes made, I think it flows a lot better now.
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Sam,I have been reluctant to comment on this one because I find it depressing in its outlook. I don't think love can die, being one of those eternal virtues. So the poem, while it has some very nice...
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I don't completely believe it either, February. I wrote it to express my own doubts
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Sam,To be frank with you, I've read enough olde-worlde voice sonnets to last me for the next 20 years--do we really need another one? It feels as sincere as a nine-pound note to me. What's wrong with...
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Hmm... I didn't think this was a very archaic sonnet. Sure, the style of renaissancesque, but there is not a single "olde-worlde" word inside.I think you dislike it for the style alone, not the...
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Hello dear Sam Hinkle,I think this is lovely in its meaning and the beautiful visuals you present. Being the purist that I am, though, I must state my disagreement with the premise that God designed...
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Oof. I'm not going to get into a theological debate. Thanks for your feedback, though, Katina!
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nay, sam...i wasn't calling for a debate...just pointing out some thoughts.
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I know. I just didn't want one to come up-- because I'd get trampled :P
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In Wicca, decay is fulfillment. We are always on some point of the perimeter, spiralling through the Goddess' loom. I loved "Autumn's amber floor." How did you feel about working with the abcddcba...
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Hello,I think your voice is inconsistent with this one. L1&2 seems fairly normalL3-8 sound almost pretentious perhaps just the style, but different from L1&2.L9&10 are mostly back to...
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Katina wrote:Quote:Hello dear Sam Hinkle,I think this is lovely in its meaning and the beautiful visuals you present. Being the purist that I am, though, I must state my disagreement with the premise...
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Hi Sam,Usually I'd leap in and agree with Maz and start berating you for writing in an archaic voice. True, the words themselves are not particularly archaic, but the inversions and use of rhetorical...
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Hi again - The revision is a lot better. A couple of small points - maybe 'then so our love' could be replaced along the lines of 'our love will surely' or something similar (though 'surely' is often...
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Stephen, thank you for your input. As for the last line, "we still are slaves," is not meter driven, at all. If anything using the contraction "we're still slaves," would be more meter driven. But...
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Hi Sam, As for the last line, I wasn't intending "we're still slaves" as a replacement, only as an example of what I think would be a more natural voice. I still am thinking it is awkward.Stephen
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I had a little problem with the language in "And will not...?" It just seems a tad archaic for the rest. Congrats on staying up that late to read Milton. I can't even read a page of that in the...
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